So last night I went out to 80's night at the Crystal Ballroom with a group of friends from work. This is only the second time I have gone -- last time I was about 20-something weeks pregnant :)
We had a really good time. Stayed until they closed the place down at 2am. I had moments of feeling like I shouldn't be out dancing when I have a husband and 4 kids back at home... but then I decided the exercise and social time with friends was well worth it. I don't really feel 'old' per se, just no longer really young. My aching knees today also reminded me that I am not so young anymore. But given it has been at least 9 months since I have done much of any physical activity other than just walking, I think I fared pretty well.
Today Andrew competed in his second ever chess tournament. He won 2 out of his 5 games which is what happened last time as well. I think he needed to win at least 3 games to qualify for the state tournament. He was frustrated by it a bit. I think it is really good for him to deal with losing though. As an oldest child, he tends to think pretty highly of himself because he can beat his brothers at games and knows more school/general knowledge stuff than they do. He needs to learn to be a bit more humble.
Joe seems to really enjoy attending the tournaments and chatting with other parents and getting to know the other kids in chess club. I feel a bit left out of all of it. I am the mom with the new baby who stays at home during these events. But I am also terrible about making small talk and meeting new people and all that, so even if I did attend, I would not be very involved. Joe really shines at that sort of thing.
I was thinking today about what a really great dad he is. He is so invested in the kids and honestly pays attention to all their ramblings about video games and Lego creations and all that. I hate to admit it, but I tend to start tuning some of that out after the first 10 minutes or so. I blame it on having all boys and just not being able to really "get" them. But I am pretty sure their are moms out there who make more of an effort than I do with their boys. I think the ages we have right now combined with the fact that I am very distracted by and tuned into my new baby make it hard for me. I simply have no interest in computer game levels or watching Scooby Doo for the zillionth time!
I love them all to death of course, but I do get sad and frustrated when I realize that I am just not very interested in the things that really excite and interest them these days. We were at the bookstore the other day with my brother and SIL and my brother was pouring over graphic novels / comic books with them and they were all so excited about the characters and my thought was that I just have no interest in comic book heroes! SIGH...
I still have LOTS of moments where I am still wishing for a daughter. I can't sleep some nights because I am day dreaming about it and can't get it out of my head.
Anyway... I think that is has personal as I want to get at the moment.
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